Praying for Infertility When You Know Theres No Wya

Waiting, by Caitlin Connolly, may not be copied. The artist as well struggled with infertility for several years before giving birth to twin boys in 2017.

It's hard non to weep when I talk about the struggles with infertility my husband and I endured. I felt hopeful. I felt like a failure. I felt gratitude for the physicians who worked so difficult to aid us. I felt shattered with each failed handling. I felt loved by my family and friends. I felt lonely and desolate in my pain. It was a difficult time.

As I searched the scriptures during this time, I noticed there were many couples who suffered from infertility: Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, Elkanah and Hannah, and Zachariah and Elisabeth. This surprised me. The Bible covers only a tiny piece of a vast history. Why would God inspire prophets to include so many stories of infertility? This felt like the beginning of an answer to my prayers; there was something here for me to acquire. So I decided to study each of the women in these stories, and as I studied, I learned four important lessons that helped me grow and find peace despite my struggles with infertility.

1. Infertility is non a reflection of our worthiness or adequacy

When faced with infertility, I found it hard not to feel like it was my fault, that God didn't trust me for some reason. Was I not faithful enough? Would I non exist a practiced enough mother? I would lie awake at nighttime after my husband savage asleep, aching to know what feature I lacked. My brain said I was being unreasonable. My heart kept me awake. I of the greatest lessons I learned from studying these women in the Bible is that my infertility was in no style tied to God'south trust or lack of trust in me.

The corporeality of information I could find about each childless woman varied, but they all had certain things in common. Their lives were not easy, and childlessness was simply one part of that. About experienced the reproach of others as a result of their childlessness. Several had to look a long time for children. Yet they kept the commandments and they prayed. After Hannah finally had a son, she brought him to Eli the priest and reminded him of her prayers: "Oh my lord, … I am the woman that stood past thee hither, praying unto the Lord. For this child I prayed" (1 Samuel one:26–27; see also verses x–12).

They all remained strong and faithful women, fifty-fifty when their prayers and supplications for children weren't immediately answered in the manner they expected. And that was the indicate. Their religion was not contingent on the reply they received or whether they had children in this life. They had called to trust in our Heavenly Father. And I could practise the same.

When these women somewhen had children, they raised some of the most incredible and faithful men to take lived on this world: Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Samuel, and John the Baptist. Every bit I considered the affect each of these men had on the world, I was struck by the trust Heavenly Father had placed in these women, by the trust He places in anyone He asks to teach His children—mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, Sunday School teachers, bishops, nursery leaders, and others. In the eyes of God, these women were not defined by their infertility, and neither was I. Nosotros are daughters and sons of God, and He believes in u.s.a..

2. God's programme involves more than nosotros can soon encounter

A Willing Woman, by Caitlin Connolly, may not be copied

I love the story of Elisabeth, the mother of John the Baptist. We know and so little almost her and however I learned and so much from her. Elisabeth and her husband, Zacharias, had prayed for children, just those prayers hadn't been answered in the fashion they hoped. On top of that, others regarded her with disdain because of her lack of children, which I'g certain only exacerbated her heartache.¹ Despite this, she and her hubby remained faithful to the commandments and ordinances of the Lord. They must take been incredible people.

Somewhen they were blessed with a son. I wonder how Elisabeth felt when she realized that the timing of her pregnancy was at least in part acquired past the fact that her son, John, would prepare the way for the Messiah. Beingness the faithful adult female that she was, she probably used information technology as a lesson to teach her son to trust in the timing of the Lord.

Elisabeth reminded me that I can see just a tiny sliver of what the Lord sees. This idea kept me going after each failed infertility treatment. I could not understand why the Lord kept directing usa down paths that seemed like failures because they didn't terminate with united states having a baby. Now, looking back, I can see how each of those seeming failures was an important stepping-stone on our path to understanding His timing.

President Russell M. Nelson once encouraged the "childless sisters" of the Church to "recollect [that] the eternal timetable of the Lord is much longer than the solitary hours of your preparation or the full of this mortal life. These are only as microseconds when compared to eternity."² I know that there is so much more than that He sees and knows about our time to come, and if nosotros listen to Him, He will always direct us down paths that will somewhen pb to slap-up happiness.

3. Notice joy in the present and appreciate the knowledge you are gaining

Another woman in the Bible whose feel I learned from was Eve. I have always loved and looked upward to Eve. She was faithful, courageous, compassionate, and wise. Because her story through the lens of my struggles with infertility has only deepened my admiration for this incredible woman. I do non know if Eve was fully aware of her inability to have children without leaving the Garden of Eden, but Elder Jeffrey R. Kingdom of the netherlands of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles explains that Eve "understood that she and Adam had to fall in order that 'men [and women] might be' [2 Nephi 2:25] and that there would exist joy"ⁱⁱⁱ (come across ii Nephi two:22–25).

We know how Eve came to view her decision to eat of the fruit in hindsight. Later on Adam and Eve were cast out of the garden, an affections came and taught them of Jesus Christ and His Atonement (encounter Moses five:6–ix). Afterwards the Holy Ghost fell upon Adam, causing him to show. Eve happily said, "Were information technology non for our transgression we never should accept had seed, and never should have known skillful and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient" (Moses 5:11; accent added). She found joy in her decision. I cannot imagine how painful it was to be cast out, to exit the presence of the God she loved. And nonetheless, every bit she looked back on that conclusion, she rejoiced in the knowledge she had gained, knowing that, through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, she could eventually render to our Heavenly Begetter. Eve taught me to notice happiness in the present. She could accept spent her life wishing she were still in the Garden of Eden, yearning for the life she had left behind. Instead, she institute joy in her current situation: in her children, in the cognition she had gained, and in the ability of the Savior'due south Amende. Eve's lesson was a powerful one for me. During my struggle with infertility, I was often tempted to focus on only what I lacked, but by focusing on the present I too found joy.

Amid other things, I was able to employ this time to volunteer as an ordinance worker in the temple. Before, I attended the temple because that was what I was supposed to do. Just at present I love it even more. I take a deep appreciation for the ordinances we receive in the temple. The blessings promised to those who keep their covenants are incredible! And they are given to anybody. Immature and old. Physically fit and disabled. Married and unmarried. Those with children and those without. I am a different person because I served in the temple. I value eternal families more. I have a deeper understanding of the Savior's Amende. I pray more consciously. And I know that the greater noesis and religion I gained from serving in the temple will make me a better mother.

4. We are all mothers

Mothers Education, by Caitlin Connolly, may not be copied

Eve likewise taught me that being a mother does not accept to be tied to having children: both God the Father and Adam chosen Eve "the female parent of all living" (Genesis 3:20; Moses 4:26) earlier she ever bore a kid.⁴ As Ardeth Greene Kapp, who served as Young Women Full general President and who was never able to have children herself, asked, "Is maternity reserved merely for those who give nativity? Was non the sacred mission of maternity foreordained by God for all women before the world was?"⁵ She besides observed: "I take come to know that nosotros tin all … rejoice in the sacred calling of maternity. To requite nascence is but one part of this sacred calling."⁶ This realization was a soothing balm to my broken heart. I was a female parent—non in the traditional sense, certainly, but I had a role to play, a responsibility to conduct.

Sheri Dew, former Second Advisor in the Relief Guild General Presidency, said:

"Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are equally women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us. …

"Every bit daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers and nosotros accept ever been mothers."⁷

Through Eve's experience, I realized that motherhood is a calling to love, nurture, and lead those of a younger generation, and I had that calling regardless of whether I bore children. Inside days of discovering that I had infertility problems, I was called every bit a Immature Women leader in my ward. I know this was a merciful approval from a loving Heavenly Father. As I poured my heart into that calling, each daughter became similar a daughter to me. I felt a love for them that could merely have come from their Heavenly Begetter. I was able to feel what it means to be a mother without bearing children, and it was cute.

I am grateful for the stories of these wonderful, righteous women in the Bible. I never expected to chronicle then deeply to women who lived in such a different fourth dimension from my ain, just their faith and courage in the face of infertility have meant so much to me. I accept learned to more than fully trust that I am a daughter of God and that He loves me, believes in me, and has a programme for me. I have learned to love the temple and to find opportunities to learn even in the middle of heartache. I have gained a greater agreement of what it means to exist a female parent. Most importantly, I have learned that fifty-fifty the smallest details in the scriptures can be used by a loving Heavenly Father to requite us knowledge and comfort.

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Source: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2018/09/finding-peace-from-stories-of-infertility-in-the-bible?lang=eng

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